Free Healthcare for Life? Sign Me Up!

 Writing Prompt #1

You’ve decided to sell your soul for immortality since it’s cheaper than health insurance.

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Drinks, check. Food, check. Desserts, check.

What else am I missing? I wonder as I look through the arrangement in my petite apartment again.

Oh yeah, cookies! The chocolate chips one, can’t forget those too. It’s all ready, I think… I hope this will succeed.

I can’t imagine the consequences should I fail here.

Prepping the last touches for the sandwich on my kitchen table, I took a last glimpse on the opened

wikipedia page of how to summon a demon 101. Right, all I need to do is to draw a pentagram on this sandwich.

With shaky but determined hands, I finished the drawing. 

Please, please, please let this work. Come on demon, come here.

Don’t let this offering be a waste. I muttered under my breath.

Suddenly a figure engulfed in black plume of smoke landed in my living room

with a large thud and followed with a small muttering that sounds like,

“Fuck, it’s the third time this week already and it's not even Wednesday yet,

I’m going to get lung cancer at this rate."

I raised my eyebrow at that, did I hear it right? Do demons even get lung cancer?

Interesting, I should take note of that for future reference. 

As the smoke dissipates, I can finally get a glimpse of this being.

Huh, he doesn’t look like what I imagined of a demon.

To be honest, he looks like a hobo and could be mistaken as one.

With those rumpled black tracksuits and disheveled hair.

But oh well, who am I to judge? It's not like I’m a demon fashion expert.

“Ahem, so human what makes you summon me on this fine day?

Is it greed? Lust? Power? Or perhaps the demise of a nation?”

rattled out this ‘hobo’ monotonously as if he had  repeated this phrase countless of times.

He sounded like those customer services or telemarketers that

have dealt with an endless stream of inquiries and complaints.

“Nah, it’s neither of those.” I shrug.

He stares at me like I have grown another head, “Nah?”

“Nah, I’m here to sell my soul-”

“Do you take me for a fool? I know that but for what is the question, human.”

“I know, I know. Be patient would you? I’m getting there right now before you rudely cut me off,” I said pointedly,

“Anyways, recently I got myself into a life threatening accident and they had to call an ambulance to

get me to the hospital. I was kinda in a bad situation there, so they had to do some emergency surgery.

Then I was pretty much out of it for around two weeks. As you can see, I’m perfectly fine right now.

The medical workers have done a great job, I guess.”

“You survived. Shouldn’t that make you want to continue living?”

“Pfft… you wish,” I scoffed. “I’d rather die at that moment, thank you very much.”

“What do you mean?”

“Yeah, well… When I woke up, the total medical fees were a lot, like A LOT.

It could probably cover a couple of months rent  and living costs.

You see, I still have my unpaid student debt that I barely can cover

even if I worked multiple part-time jobs. Heck, I can even cover my living costs.

I would have to survive just with discounted instant noodles for the rest of my life! “

“So…”

“Wait! I’m not finished. Did you know? That’s not even the worst part.

Okay, so. I actually signed up for health insurance a couple years back.

They said that the policy I paid for would cover anything, ANYTHING!

I was skeptical back then, I’m still now and I was right. Did you know?

They didn’t cover anything for the surgery I went through a couple weeks ago

and they certainly did not cover the hospital bills that have accumulated for the two weeks I’m out.

I already sent an inquiry for this, but all they sent back is that

‘We’re sorry to hear about your accident but your medical bills can’t be covered

as it was a surgery with the newest and latest technology.

Until we’re certain of the side effects and the nature of it we can’t process your insurance policy.

Our sincerest apologies. We wish you a fast recovery.

If you would like to upgrade your subscription for a total cover insurance,

you can find the brochure attached below.’ or something along that line.

Can you believe it? They still have the guts to send me that! Isn’t it all messed up?

It’s borderline fraud at this point.

Just rip off all my money already, I don’t care anymore. Huff.. huff…”

“Are you done? Here, have a drink.”

With gratitude, I took the mug of warm milk that he held out.

It was supposed to be an offering for him but nevermind, I could just whip up another glass.

“Thanks and yes, sorry for ranting out like that…

Gods, I have been wanting to get that off my mind for a while.”

“It’s fine. I understand where you came from.

I actually went through something similar when I was still human. So…”

“That makes things easier. So, as you gathered, this would literally kill me sooner or later.

I’d prefer it to be sooner though and with that, I thought to myself that isn’t better if I

took the initiative to sign a contract? At least I’d still be useful for your kind, wouldn’t I?”

“Well, yes..”

“Well? What’s with the hesitation? What’s the worst that could happen- I’ll be damned to hell?”

The demon paced in my apartment seeming to be deep in thoughts.

I sat down on the kitchen counter and picked up the plate of cookies,

munching a few and offering the plate to him.

“Cookies for your thoughts?”

He took a cookie and gave me a contemplating glance.

“Okay, so I initially came here to eat your soul.

But after hearing your reason I changed my mind.

Do you want to sign a contract with me?

Damn, this cookie is delicious. Can I have some more?”

“What kind of contract? And sure help yourself. I made it myself!

It’s one of the few things that I’m proud of.”

“Thanks, you made this? Wow!

It tastes even better than those ones in the bakery you know?

It’s a work contract. In exchange for your soul you get to work in the demon realm.”

“What can I benefit from it? And what would I have to do there?”

“You can be anything you want. But I’d recommend you to work in the pastry section,

you’d make a great chef! I can already imagine it, the demon folks would literally kill for this cookie.”

“You guys like to eat sweets, cookies and bread?

Huh, that would make sense why the manual said to prepare some sweet foods.

I guess your kind also needs to eat.”

“Well, not exactly. We don’t need food to survive but I guess

we just like the delicacies that human cuisine has to offer.

I never give it a second thought.” He shrugs. 

“Anyways, you won’t regret signing the contract.

It entails a flexible eighth hour work time with decent wages and

you can have free access to all facilities in the devil condo. It’s all free by the way.”

“Free?” I asked leaning closer to him.

“Yes, free. Your rent would also be covered. All you need to save up is

for luxuries like designer clothes, games, entertainment and food.

You’ll need to pass a quick course first though. It’s a three month crash course

and it’s mandatory for newbies. So it’s also costless. And...”

“And?” 

“The best part is, you’ll have unlimited free healthcare for the rest of your life!”

“Sounds too good to be true. Is it not just another scam?”

“Of course not, we’re not like those pesky humans.

We take pride in having the best healthcare system in this entire universe!

I’m not bragging but I have experienced it myself. It’s totally worth it, trust me.”

“I’ll take your words for that. I accept the terms of this contract. Where can I sign those papers?”

The demon materialized a sheet of paper and

a pen from the air. He took a quick read and handed me the paper.

“Great! Here, you can sign there, there and there.”

I quickly signed the contract without a second thought.

The paper and pen in my hands suddenly glows and vanish to thin air.

“Woah…”

“And that's it, simple right?”

“Hu uh, so what’s your name? We’ll be coworkers from now on, won’t we?

I can’t just call you Mr. Demon in my head.” I said with a smile.

“It’s Dave. Nice to have you here. Perhaps, can I get more of those cookies?”

He smiled back at me while gesturing to the empty plate of cookies at the kitchen counter.

“Hahaha! Of course! I’ll fetch them from the kitchen in just a moment.

I’ll prepare a mug of warm milk too!”

“Thank you!”

“No sweat, you’ve helped me with my headaches. This is the least I can do to thank you.

My name is Katheryn by the way, but you can call me Katie. Nice to meet you too, Dave.” 

And that's the story of how I first managed to run this bakery in the demon realm.

The End.